“There are a few things you will need to know about our tribe,” I announced a second later, “although I can assure you that nothing I will tell you is bad. It is just that our customs are different. The truth is, our tribe is made up of many peoples, some of whom have seen their homes wiped out by evil men. Others have left their tribes to join mine because I offer them a chance to be more than they ever were in the tribe that had given them birth.”“I can live with that,” Tikál responded tentatively. “I know that Tonko joined your tribe to wander and to have adventures. I considered doing the same the last time you passed through our lands, but decided not to. There had been bad blood then and much was said in anger by our new shaman. Now I think it would be a good idea. I will join you and your tribe; if you will accept me.”I assured him I would. I also told him there was a lot more for him to learn about my tribe, before he became a full member of it. I assured him that much of what. I had spent so many years not thinking about my own needs that I had no idea what I did need. Trying to contemplate my next move seemed senseless and yet necessary at the same time. It had been so long since I had given myself even a flicker of a thought and had only worried about what was best for ‘her’ or what would make ‘her’ happy, but damn it I wanted things too and I wanted to smile again. I had been content at some point in my life, at least I thought so at the time, otherwise I wouldn’t have stayed as long as I did. I waded through the freshly fallen snow with thoughts flowing in and out of my consciousness, but they had absolutely no direction. It wouldn’t be long before I would be turning 50 and I hadn’t worked in years, so if I did leave what in the hell would I do? I could do many things, just nothing that carried a degree with it. Basically I was uneducated and that pretty much would leave me on the streets. The notion seemed unthinkable, but there it was in a small.
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